I ran away from my hometown of Baltimore City with the idea that I would get out of an  environment that I felt was detrimental to my success as a young lady, I figured that if I could just get away and start over that everything would change in my life. Yes, Virginia appeared different but the root of why I was running still existed and it showed up in my new town, resembling home. It wasn’t until I returned to my city that I noticed a change. The outside environment remained the same, but what had changed was my internal environment. My thoughts had changed, which transformed my outside environment into a place where I would flourish and produce great successes. The saying that one is a product of their environment is often used but it has been my personal discovery that my environment has been a product of me. Do you allow your outside environment to dictate your inside environment or do you take your power back and reverse the roles?

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25 thoughts on “What Environment is dominating your life?

  1. I was 18 years old when I first left home. I thought I had everything figured out. I could just start over and yesterday was no longer with me. I was running and it was my little secret. I wanted to change my identity, and my past to be destroyed. This was my opportunity to be whoever I wanted to be and no one could prove it other wise. If I never looked back, it never existed. I was physically in a different place but mentally I never took a step. I realized I was repeating history and telling the same story with a different setting. Your environment is based on your perception. Therefore you have to adjust your thinking. Location is irrelevant, your mind is key.

  2. The entire philosophy of one being a part of their environment is a paradox. So in that sense to be prosperous you must in fact learn to make the best of your surroundings and turn your surroundings into a reflection of your internal thoughts. I was once told that a wise man, can be put in any type of environment (good or bad) and adapt. Your life, your surroundings, your environment, your friends and even your significant other is a reflection of your innermost thoughts. I have found that the end of one thing can be the start of something else even greater. So when you left Baltimore, did you ever in fact give your self the chance to be something great and to be prosperous or did you let the thought that you were a product of your environment consume you? It’s not always that we are running away from our past, it is that we are in fact closing chapters of our life and moving forward onto something even greater. Don’t you believe that progression is when we begin to advance towards our destiny and God’s promise? I have been placed in adverse environments throughout my entire life but I learned to adapt, progress and prosper. So I believe that I’m not part of an environment ever. My environment is a part of me. My environment does not control my thoughts or who I am to one day become.

    1. Thank You for your response. You made a lot of good points, however to give further insight into the mind of my post I should explain: see, I left Baltimore City with the idea that Virginia would be the answer to all my Baltimore problems. I believed that the city was the issue not me. So although I left what I thought was hindering my success, I could never truly be successful until I addressed the root of what was wrong in my life and the answer could not be found on the outside.
      It is my belief that to have success all areas of your life should be operating in a healthy manner – mentally, physically and socially. And in this moment I reflect on my experience in Virginia and realize just how much of an unsuccessful life I was living. I had a circle of people in my life that reflected everything that was happening on the inside, like you said spouses are reflections of your thoughts and the men that showed up then, could never show up in my life now because my inside environment has changed.
      Now I use the term inside environment as a metaphor for your thoughts and those thoughts dictate what shows up in your reality/outside environment. To answer your first question: the thought of being a product of my environment wasn’t the issue; the misunderstanding that internal issues could be solved with an external solution was what hindered me. A chance to be something great – you have to give your chance permission to exist and that cannot happen until you adjust your thinking. So in that sense I never had a chance when I left Baltimore.
      It has happened in my life and so many others have this same testimony…one environment to the next and you get the same outcome. You leave this job because the people are just horrible and then you get to the new job and the same people show up with different faces. You have a good friend but then they began to treat you the way your last friend treated you and those are the same issues that cost you your last friendship, so you move on and the cycle continues in all areas of your life…which brings me to the last two questions.
      In reference to your closing a chapter and moving onto the next, let’s be careful with what we allow to be our truth. When one closes a chapter, we are not saying that we’ve finished it. You say this chapter is boring, or the words are too difficult I don’t understand, so I’m moving on to the next chapter. Maybe the next one will be easier to understand, faster to read. But when we do this closing of a chapter exercise so often we never finish any books. And then there is never really any progression happening.
      Progression happens when you are moving toward your destination, or in your words, “advance towards our destiny and God’s promise.” And it is from my personal experience that God will not allow you to PROGRESS if you do not get what you need to get out of where you are currently positioned. You will repeat the season or to reiterate my original statement that your external will never change until your internal thinking changes. Thank You again, great questions…keep them coming.

  3. Amen sister! That’s what im saying…in all seriousness sometimes we need to dig deep down and do the best we can with what we have. Be true, be honest, live life.

    Over and Out. Double G

  4. I want to say how proud of I AM of Miss Nora and appreciate this blog. This definitely makes you look back over your own life and start recalling times when we’ve been controlled by our environment. I wanted to share some thoughts having read the blog and response(s).

    I started thinking about the changes that I’ve made in my life having been through so much in my life. I realized that I couldn’t see an outward change until something happened inwardly. That’s right!!! There can be no EXTERNAL change unless there’s an INTERNAL change. There can be no EXPLOSION unless there is first an IMPLOSION. We must learn to do as they say…change how we see things and then the things we see will change. We also have to remember that our OUTSIDE is indicative of our INSIDE. The OUTSIDE is our mirror. Some might feel ‘if I can relocate to another state, things will be better for me.’ You can relocate geographically by moving to another state but if your mind doesn’t change states you will take the same mentality with you therefore seeing no change.

    It is true that most become a product of their environment but ONLY if they don’t REALIZE the REAL LIES!!! In this life things most certainly will happen but it’s not what happens that matter but how we respond to those things that determine the outcome. It is ultra-important to REALIZE that we are not THERMOMETERS which are controlled by its environment, but we are THERMOSTATS because we control the temperature in our environment.

    At times, the outside might look like its falling apart when in reality they’re falling into place. Don’t get it twisted! What I believe Miss Nora is saying in essence is, your eyes (what you see) are no good, if your mind is blind! Turn your thoughts around and things outside of you will conform and accommodate you and change. It’s not the environment that determines your success or progress but it’s your thinking concerning the environment that determines that. Stop making excuses and pull yourself together and realize that you can make it. You can accomplish and achieve. You can change the outcome. You might not be able to always choose your fight but you can always choose your victory. There can be no PROGRESS without PROCESS!!! You can’t create a new life if you’re still using old commentaries! Thanks for this blog Miss Nora and I wish you the greatest success.

    1. It is such an honor Sir to have you take the time to comment on my blog, for your teachings have been the foundation for my right thinking….Thank you for your continuous support in all areas of my life..

  5. I grew up in a house where my mom put her habit above me and my siblings’ needs. I never once thought that my outcome would be the same as my moms. I have always had this thing in me that wants to go the opposite way thay society was going. I used to wish I was born to a different family and all, but I look back now and I’m grateful for those humble beginnings because without them, I wouldn’t be so awesome!

  6. I can so relate to your internal environment creating cycles in your life. I have lived it and honestly I still continue to alter my thought process in positive a manner. Lord knows it doesn’t come over Night. I’ve still had moments where i question relationships (friends and associates), accomplishments, personal abilities… The list goes on. And no its not because of insecurities, its because I had a mother who wasnt as supportive and was damaged herself, friends who ALWAYS ended up treating you like trash, A father who showed me all that I didn’t need in a man… I CHOSE to change my “internal environment” KNowing that I’m worth more than the “ghetto” way of living. Settling for the bare minimum was changed and it all began with ME. We choose what we want in life. Failure to choose resulted in a choice. I chose the road that would break cycles and open doors.

    1. It’s so great that you acknowledge the roles that cycles and traditions can play in determining your internal environment. Being educated on why a particular cycle is occurring in our life is one of the steps to being able to create a new path – you cannot change something that you have no knowledge of. So thank you for sharing and enlightening the blog.

  7. I can relate to you and I also can relate to what blaque swann said as well. I love the expansion and detail that you put into the response. It gave your post so much more depth. I could feel the passion in your response and it made me reflect on something similar that I’ve been dealing with also.

    It’s been three years since I left home. I thought I was just leaving home to go to college but in reality initially I was running. Running from my past. Running from everyone from everyone who ever caused me pain. Just running in hopes of starting over and what I thought would relive me of the stress and burdens my family had placed on me for so long. When I came to baltimore I had no sense of who I was and hit rock bottom unfortunately. I did become a product of my environment because I allowed it. I was homeless and living in a city that was still foreign to me trying to figure out life on my own. I wouldn’t say that I was broken but I was at the place when new soil needed to be planted. Ground for making. It was rough and it is still rough living in a city where sometimes it seems as if your alone when you’re surrounded by many but to me it’s really uplifts me and amazes me. When I was in the midst of my storm all I had was my faith in myself and God. He took me out of different environments and placed me in better environments to shape me into a better woman. He reversed the roles and put an amazing person in my life who I cherish dearly, who has changed my life forever. He gave me a church home. He has kept me sane when others, including myself thought I was going to loose it. I say it’s crazy sometimes how everything has worked out for me..but in fact I know that it’s not crazy it was God doing his work. When we’re not listening to God and surrounding ourselves to His will, He has odd ways of getting our attention. My outside environment shook me trying to break me, but God keep me rooted and helped me take my own power in my hands and progress and excell in school, work and everything that I do. God transformed my life and helped me become more then I ever imagined being.

    I want to say thank you so much Nora for sharing. Your story has already healed a heart and saved a life. Your story has made me reflect over my own life and give glory to God for the magnificant work he has done in my life and also hold anticipation for my future things He will do in my life.

    I look forward to reading more pieces of your work.

    Peace, love and blessings.

  8. First I wanna say this is truly an amazing blog and I just said to my co worker that sharing stories about your personal thoughts and feelings gives that person who is scared to open up the push they need because there are people in the world who can actually relate. In growing and maturing I found that facing those stumbling blocks head on gives you a sense of strength being able to turn your life around for the better is always a blessing and an awesome feeling

    1. Thank you so much, the vision was actually made clear to me from the continuous sharing of my testimony with people and them telling me how much just hearing my story encouraged them to live and also share what they are going through or have been through in hopes of doing the same for someone else. Yes – we are not in this alone, and there is truly strength in being aware of that truth. Thank you for your comment. *inspired

  9. I too ran away from my environment thinking that I would find a change. It wasn’t until my thought process was adjusted that I realized that my environment can remain as is, but only I can change me! This is a truly amazing story and I applaud u for even sharing this part of you with the world.
    Stay blessed my great friend

    1. Thank you for supporting the blog, you are definitely making it available to someone who could possibly be giving life one more chance and then they identify with one of the stories on the blog and decide you know what, I to can live and share my story. So thank you again – you’re a blessing.

  10. Well.. In my case it may be a little different. See I was born in Harlem NY. And then found that with my Mothers acute paranoia paired with her demanding Job, I, not only had to move to a new city almost annually, but that I would spend quite sometime alone in these places. Wandering the streets of Brooklyn, Downtown Hollywood, Paris, Birmingham (UK not Alabama), And a myriad of other places. The wild thing is that I’ve never felt like a product of ANYWHERE. However, I found that I was able to take a small piece of something from these places (the Language, an accent, a talent, a new bad habit lol, etc) and add it to This Mold of who I would ultimately become. It’s hindered me in a few minor cases… but it helped more than it hurt.. I feel like I’m gonna start rambling soon… so I’ll stop now ^_^

    1. Thank you for sharing, it’s great that you’ve had the opportunity to travel to so many wonderful places, however if you don’t mind me asking – how did traveling as you did and dealing with your mothers paranoia affect you emotionally? And have those emotions ever determined your actions or the things that you saw happening in your life while traveling? I know you talk about new habits – were they a result of anything that was happening in your life?

  11. I could not agree with the author’s conclusion more! As I grow and develop I’ve learned that I can only control myself. Instead of running from my problems I am learning to adapt and fight.

  12. This was an amazing blog and really made me think of my internal self in respect to honing the environment I was raised in and where I am today. I support and agree with you blog 100%. I always believed that I was a product of my environment and never really saw much in myself, but be the typical round the way nigga. It’s when I branched away and joined the service when I realized that my environment doesn’t define me but it’s the person I decide to be that dictates my ability to successfully adapt in life. This post just help me reinforce my reason. Great job Nora and I love the growth you continue to make personal and professionally. Keep up the great work and the great blogs.

    The Real Mr. Farrell

  13. Nora I am so proud of you.No matter how negative things may appear to be in life, you manage to reflect on the positive. I enjoy listening to you speak and reading your thoughts. You have many stories to tell and I believe that those same stories will serve as testimonies for others like it has done for me on numerous occassions. Keep up the good work chump.

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