Finding peace in your sadness

I tuck myself away, underneath the sadness – it exist in a feeling that words cannot describe. In the world of hope, pain still exist. It is in this place of pain that I am so truthful to who I am-the hurt seems to motivate me more than happiness. Is it because pain is true and happiness is an illusion? For certain, I know it has been most identifiable, it’s where I grew up. When you are kept in the belly of hurt, and it has the consistency of a best friend, how do you live without it? That is my question to self, well I don’t. It has been my experience that the most beautiful moments are birthed out of pain. Example – There was no greater pain than finding out my mother had only a few months to live (13 and having never spent a day on earth without my mommy, terrified, afraid, hurt and in pain) but the sight of her walking towards me in that moment of my finding out was where I witnessed true beauty. The pain that I was feeling forced me to see the beauty that was her life AND that was one of the most powerful experiences I had ever had. She had always been my greatest love but I believe fear, hopelessness,and sadness ushered me into a place of truth. The truth of who she was to me and who she was to the earth was made visible, so I don’t despise these feelings, I embrace them. No one want’s to feel sadness but what if we allowed ourselves to love it the way we love being happy? If this is done, you may find something greater than happiness-you could stumble across the discovery that peace can live inside of sadness.